There are many fashion labels we wear throughout our life, some welcome, some not so much. But one that I have been meeting a whole lot with clients is the idea of getting to a certain age and feeling like a “Style Inbetweener”.
You don’t quite fit in on the high street anymore but are not ready to spend the rest of your days browsing the aisles of M&S. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love M&S for certain things (those Cashmere jumpers, the underwear, shoes and their linen) but when we see M&S in terms of fashion doom and boredom, it’s not what we want to feel when getting dressed in the mornings or when we are taking some time out to shop for our wardrobes.
It’s important to recognise this time as place of personal style transition. Nothing is wrong, but life and you have changed and that’s ok. It’s inevitable. But it takes some figuring you. It can be tricky. It is a process that involves looking inwards, going gently and kindly with yourself and exploring what it really means for you. What do you want to change? What should your new style look like? Feel like?
Usually, there is no single moment or catalyst that you can pin point where the ground felt suddenly shaky for your style, but over time, lots of little things start to shine a light on something within you that longs for that sense of direction again.
If you feel bored or uncomfortable with your day to day style routines, with what you buy and where you buy it, chances are you are in some kind of style transition. You feel you want something better but you are not quite sure what or how to get there.
Give it a little time. Just like any feeling we experience, some pass and you can put it down to a hard week and some keep coming back to knock, which tells us something might need to change. Don’t beat yourself up about this time – change is created in building blocks and one step at a time. It’s a good place to be to know yourself well enough to know you want to make a change.
Accept that you are in transition and try to hold your frustration in your awareness with curiousity that a new style routine, and a new list of shops that are perfect for you, is out there. It just takes time to reconnect to what you are looking for again.
Have you ever asked yourself if you are a little stuck in other peoples versions of you? It is easy in life to put ourselves (and for others to put us) into neat little boxes. They come from the roles we hold in life. From, how you feel you should dress at the school gates if you are a Mum, to what feels easiest so you don’t stand out too much in work. These boxes serve a purpose but when we hold these boxes for too long (and of course if they don’t bring us joy), we become those boxes and lose track of what it was we loved and what gave us a sense of ourselves.
Is this you? Are you buying and wearing clothes that fit into other peoples neat little boxes of what makes them feel comfortable, safe and secure in themselves?
But the big question is, does this make you happy?
My last reason is one that brings up a lot of a ha moments in conversations with clients on my Style Retreat.
Are you are shopping for a life you used to have or even just parts of the life you used to have, simply because you don’t know how to find ‘you’ now in the shops? You are trying to figure out who this ‘you’ is and what this ‘you’ loves. Going back to ’safe’ shops feels easier than facing the questions that being in transition brings up.
It’s also because this is a part of you that you recognise and it’s nice to have that feeling of recognition, to remember that feeling and try to get it back.
So, to finish, it’s so important to say that there are SO MANY shops and brands out there, that are perfect for you, no matter what your age or your feelings about shopping ‘nowadays’! There are more than enough for whatever your style transition means or feels like to you. From lovely loungewear brands for one of the biggest style transitions, ‘working from home’; you have Etre Cecile, Mint Velvet, Beaumont Organic and Varley to beautiful smart, sophisticated but still comfortable everyday brands like Essentiel Antwerp, Toast, Hush and Olive Clothing.
The truth is, it’s not just a transition of knowing where to shop but also a transition of knowing what you want to buy that you will really love and embracing all the new ways you can shop. The number of wonderful new brands now that can also only be bought online is amazing. This in itself is a transition, being comfortable buying online and knowing how to go about it so it feels right for you. It is about creating a new framework for it all, one that works for you.
That’s the shift everyone is feeling in styling and fashion right now
If you relate, go gently with yourself, perhaps even try to create a pinterest vision board with 10 or 15 looks you are really drawn too now as a starting point for figuring this new feeling you are trying to create for yourself and your style. I am always here to help, when you feel the time is right for you, get in touch.